30 headshot Robi Damelinby beCause Global Associate Robi Damelin, co-leader Parents Circle, those who have lost children to the conflict and work together for peace rather than vengeance — So many see our situation in Palestine and Israel as hopeless, impossible, and quite frankly unsolvable. We who live here, who care about the safety of our children, cannot afford to become immune and wait for somebody else to take care of them and their safety. We do not have the luxury of apathy or of waiting for some leader to emerge who will save us from ourselves. Today, more than ever the Parents Circle – Families Forum (PCFF) , an organization of bereaved Palestinian and Israeli families, believes that women must come to the forefront and be a much more dominant catalyst in finding away for a better future.

It is not some naive belief that reconciliation is the only way. The story we will tell today is an illustration of the possibility of change and the consequences of this change.

BushraBushra Awwad, lost her beloved son, a young and beautiful boy studying for his final year of high school, to an Israeli sniper. This dreadful event turned her into a bitter and angry women who initially said that, “If I meet the man who killed my son, even after 100 years, I will kill him,” as with many bereaved mothers, to die along with her precious first born.

Life has its strange twists and turns. Bushra found herself at a meeting of women in her little village in the West Bank with 15 Palestinians who had all lost an immediate family member, but who understood that revenge would never bring their loved one back and that a non-violent quest for reconciliation would be the only way to achieve a lasting peace and not just a cease fire, until the next bullet. I was the Israeli representative of the Parents Circle at that meeting and found myself sitting next to Bushra, she with her back to me, which in any culture is somewhat of an insult.

I started to ask through a translator, for her story, for details of Mahmoud, her son, and of how he was killed. I asked her if she wanted to see a picture of my son, David, who was also killed by a sniper but in this case a Palestinian. She said yes and for the first time turned to face me. She looked long and hard at my beautiful child and sighed and said in Arabic, “What a pity.” This was a turning point in Bushra’s life. It was the moment when she understood that we shared the same pain and the moment when she saw the possibility of joining the Parents Circle in order to protect her other children.

Since this fateful day, Bushra has become one of the most active and important members of the Parents Circle’s Women’s group. She is being trained to tell her story, how to cope with an aggressive audience and their difficult questions and also how to effect the situation and not to allow it to affect her. Bushra donated blood in our Blood Relations project. She heads a special embroidery project and in fact traveled with me for her first time in a plane to Bushra speaks to an audience of 3,000 at Lincoln Center in New York. How inspiring and how much this can go towards an affirmation of the work we are doing and of how powerful women can be when we have a chance to tell our stories and to be trained to use these skills to a broader audience.

There are many more stories like Bushra’s and of Palestinian and Israeli women just waiting for the opportunity to share them.

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This piece was originally published on Huffington Post. Robi and Bushra are the subjects of a remarkable new book, Our Tears Have the Same Color, available Oct 8. Featured in a deeply touching documentary film One Day After Peace and a profoundly moving TEDx. Robi is one of four international 2014 Women PeaceMakers. Her son David was killed by a Palestinian sniper during his Israeli army reserve service. She speaks with Palestinian partners in communities and schools throughout Israel, the Palestinian Territories and globally, as campaigners from both communities who have paid the ultimate price and still work for peace. She also returned to her native South Africa to learn more about reconciliation processes since the end of apartheid, starting with the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. You can follow the work of The Parents Circle on Twitter.

{ 11 comments… add one }
  • Nadine B Hack September 12, 2015, 9:44 am

    Robi – I am so profoundly moved by the work you, Bushra and all the bereaved members of the Parents Circle do on behalf of creating understanding and peace instead of seeking retribution. I am humbled in front of you and grateful for your presence on earth! – Nadine

    Reply
  • Peter Cook September 12, 2015, 9:55 am

    A profound and moving story which is a landmark for compassion and forgiveness to politicians, world leaders and everyone in the world. Many thanks for sharing this harrowing but vital story – Love to you Robi – Peter

    Reply
  • Stephanie Moles-Rota September 12, 2015, 1:24 pm

    As a mother blessed to be born in a peaceful country, my heart goes to you and the Parents Circle. So relevant today, with the Syrians lost at our door steps. Thank you for sharing Robi and proud to be part of the same network.

    Reply
  • David Hain September 14, 2015, 11:46 am

    Robi

    Such a hopeful story and a wonderful group and mission. Pain is universal and it’s only universal empathy, understanding and dialogue that will create share will to make the future better.

    Thank you for the work that you do to make our dislocated world a healing place!

    With profound respect, David

    Reply
  • Phillip Cohen September 14, 2015, 12:35 pm

    Now this is the kind of message we should be spreading on this New Year’s Day. Shana Tova all you beautiful people who are doing such incredible work.

    Reply
  • robi damelin September 14, 2015, 4:48 pm

    Thank you for your comments, ours is a universal message. The 21st September is U.N. International peace day. Perhaps we can take a minute of silence to remember all the victims of war, and the refugees searching for a safe haven. We said never again.

    Reply
    • Nadine B Hack September 15, 2015, 8:55 am

      We will keep them in our hearts & minds not only on International Peace Day but always.

      Reply
  • Sara Mears September 14, 2015, 10:46 pm

    Your story of meeting Bushra so beautifully illustrates the profound truth and power of “Our Tears Have the Same Color.” Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  • Cortney September 15, 2015, 3:24 pm

    Dear Robi,
    Thank you for sharing this touching story. Women like you and Bushra truly are lighting the sparks of a brighter future.
    It is my wish that those “turning points” can be much less harrowing and much more prevalent as we evolve as a species into a new age.
    Warm Best, -Cortney

    Reply
  • Maureen Hetherington September 29, 2015, 7:36 pm

    We have, through our project ‘Towards Understanding and Healing’ published a book of 22 inspirational stories of people devastated by loss and injustice but who have used their suffering to make a difference. Thank you for sharing this powerful, moving story, and thank you for using your suffering to make this world a better place for all.

    Reply

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